OK, so as I assumed my daily upkeep has been epic fail.(Along with quitting smoking) Monday, Sep 20 2010

Im pretty sure this is what these dudes do after a long day of glass making for our drinking pleasure.

OK so, I didnt keep up my end of the bargain on being consistant here. Who’da thunk? Not one to dwell, I am moving past it.  So today has been suprisingly full of good things! I woke up early (despite having drank half my weight in beer last night) I went to a meeting, got supplies for an office and now I am back at home and starting to study. BONUS, I also get to multi task this with calls to my business phone company and yell at them till they break and take off all these extra phone lines I dont need…and beg them to please just put the 20 bills I get on to ONE. (Why this is so hard, BEYOND ME) O But, Another amazing feat..I dropped a full glass bottle of Starbucks Frappacino…DIDNT BREAK! I was in slow motion, gasping, as it did a second bounce. When I went to pick it up you can imagine my suprise as I was already rushing with it to the trash with it that I suddenly looked at it and realized, aha! no reason to throw it out! I thank Starbucks for using far superior glass. Im pretty sure its made on an alien planet and shipped here.

Leave a Response »

 

This is how I feel when I come home from a long weekend away from my pets.. Tuesday, Jul 27 2010

I may have even licked them clean and shared a bowl of food with them..maybe.

..Now I have more important things than to post here..like watching tv shows I missed and maybe cooking a meal I like, alone, over the kitchen sink without judgement.

Leave a Response »

 

Looking Forward. Wednesday, Jul 21 2010

So…I’m super excited about unleashing my yearly anti-smoking rants on all of you…and as a current smoker..I take it quite seriously.

Other updates in my world:

• Duke won’t stop sneezing…Despite his medicine…It’s always fun to wake up at 3am to a dog sneezing and rolling over and reminding yourself why you didn’t breed earlier…
• My nephew is in town and my mother and I are taking him to a local fun park…good times (by this I mean, I hope I wont slap any unsuspecting, but deeply in need single parents who are unable to wrangle their own children..I pray I wont trip any small children who I deem fitting for my own form of punishment for their ‘acting out’ …and here’s really hoping no concession stand workers feel the need to spit in my drink because of the inevitable rude comments I will make..)
• My lazy levels are at an all time high….and I’m pretty sure I run the same levels of a small time ant whose just never gonna make it in the city..or in the new Disney movies..
• I made egg salad tonight, Added Thyme…Yea..not so much. But, I plan on eating it later..Sad, But true.
• PS  The Ancient Cat..Likes the thyme…Hmm…This is funny, no? ( Yes, most snacks and/or meals…the animal animals get some…I’m soft like that.)

Leave a Response »

 

The day my mother sent two cards… Saturday, Jul 17 2010

My mother is an odd, odd woman. She’s this incredibly intelligent woman. I mean balls to the wall business woman who has dedicated her life to her career, all the while, rocking out to her passions whiskey, a good cigar and heavy metal. She also has the strangest of phobias and social anxieties which somehow manage to never hold her back and on the rare occasion take her down( damn vertigo, panic attacks and other pleading moments of despair brought on by her now passed parental issues!!). There has been one constant personality quirk that I enjoy from my mother. Her hatred of holidays. Its like the past hippie in her comes out like some flower thumping warrior! ” damn the man and save the empire!!”  Every year, since my parents divorce I have received piles of gifts adorned with unopened wrapping paper leaning against them, a bag of bows thrown on top and tape and scissors artfully placed on to the side for Christmas. Every year for my birthday a card was handed to me still in the bag, envelope beside it, unsigned. This has been the norm. While some may find this a bit strange. This, to me, is my mother and her love.  I would discuss this with my siblings, making jokes over the years…” Haha mom and her weird ass habit of buying wrapping paper she will never use.”(seriously, why the hell does she purchase the fucking paper?!)  You may wonder why I’m even sharing this..Heres the point. This spring when my sister birthday rolled around and I was visiting..there on the counter was a card..So being naturally nosy and uncaring as to whether or not people mind if I go through their shit..I picked it up and read the message….and said message was signed….by  MY EFFIN MOTHER… and immediately when she showed up I was jumping at the bit to bring this up..so of course randomly,in the middle of an unrelated conversation, I blew up ( as is only natural to me and my kind). WHY DOES SHE GET A SIGNED BDAY CARD AND NOT ME !!!???(can you hear the hysterical whining..?? if not, please, pinch a 2 year old..mind you, I am nearing 30).  My mother kinda just gave me a blank look and my sister stated, quietly, “She always signs my cards.”  TRADER!!! I wanted to smack everyone with the frying pan. (graceful as I am…I did not). Can you believe this shit internet my mother signs everyone elses cards but mine! How long has this been happening?

This year, however, was different. I started working for her months ago (after up-rooting my own life, amazing as it was..haaaaaa!) I over and over again have that whole constant feeling of letting her down. Picture me wanting to slam my head into the wall repeatedly saying, ” I’m not good enough”. Because I mean can you imagine a worse boss than your own parent-judging you constantly???!!! I can’t… Annnnwaaays, this year my mother sent two cards. TWO. One signed, and even with an added encouraging message written inside, and in the plastic bag containing the rust colored towels for my guest bathroom (much coveted by yours truly) was another unsigned card. And I cried. She both, felt proud of me enough to write something and sign my card (MY CARD!!!) and have the fore-thought to know I would have been offended if I felt we lost the bond of me having not gotten the only unsigned card ( because, in MY HEAD, no one else -OBVIOUSLY-deserves the unsigned card. OUR SPECIAL  BOND – yes this is how I justify my mother NEVER even bothering to sign my cards…) So in short…Not only have I arrived. I am special and yes, my mommy loves me. Both sides of me.( the crazy unorganized version and the business woman she has come to respect) Woof!

Leave a Response »

 

So…Where Am I? Thursday, Jul 15 2010

I find myself here for many reasons. The most prominent being writing. Unfortunately, I’ve always shied away from it. It’s a selfish act really. Expecting people to be interested in something I have to say, as if, what I have to say has any merit to anyone else or sadly, even to me ( oh, the horror, self value! You are somebody! Your opinion matters!!)

Gosh darnit!! I count too!!(Only without the hairy arms and weird chin hair)

(By the way, who picked this guy to be a model? Is anyone else fighting the urge to break out the ole’ lice comb and shampoo? Seriously, I have the urge to pick this guy like a mama monkey..On a side note: If this is you? Im sorry, I dont mean it, lets kiss and make up you burly man you!)

 

Annnnnywaaaaaays…So here I am. Making an attempt to do something I said I would do..start a blog. I’ve been told here, in this first post, I should state my name, rank, sexual status, future plans to take over the world  plans for this blog. What I have to vomit say to you - the reader. But, I kinda think of that as jinxing myself in the worst kinda way (read:procrastination). So instead we’ll just leave it at some facts about me. YAAAAAAAY!

• I’m found to have irrational bouts of hysteria
• I have a very large dog that we shall reference as ‘Duke’
• I love food ..like…well, like a fat kid likes his cake
• I have a bad case of me/me morbid humor
• I sing loudly and horribly when I drink alone. (Duke hates this and shows his distaste by howling, I like to think of it as him cheering me on)
• My cat will probably outlive me…17 and still Kickin’
• I’ve recently moved to a new state to work for a small family business where I know absolutely no one (one would assume this means I will update thoroughly and often on this here bloggy-blog…I make no promises, people)
• Because I am the definition of procrastination (3 cheers for me bitches..uh, when you get around to it.)

So, I am realizing several things here…I love captions and side notes and typing the letter ‘I’. Heres hoping I keep up with this here odd awesome blog and sharing of my life, feelings, moments of outbursts, and new life with all of you. Even though as of right now, it’s clearly just me. Cheers, mates!

Leave a Response »